I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize