We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
