Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
