It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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