i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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