I'm going to rape someone's good day.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
