bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
