I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
