Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize