Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
