She is in my trunk
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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