so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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