dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
