Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
