How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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