you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
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