dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
