'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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