If that was your dad, he is hot
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
