In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
