I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
of course. lets lasso hookers.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
