I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Randomize