and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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