i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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