Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
