I want to stick my p in your. b.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize