I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
