if only i could text you this smell
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
