It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
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