Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
