This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
