Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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