Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize