you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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