So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
