Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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