I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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