i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
