You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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