So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
