but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
