just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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