dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
