I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
