There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
