Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
