Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
