i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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