just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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