Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
It's blow job season.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize