Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
