the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
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