Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
