Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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