I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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