i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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