I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You took a bar mat shot.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
