I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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