I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
