U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Your cock deserves a montage
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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