Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
