Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
